In late 2011, my sister-in-law threw me a baby shower. It was sweet and awesome to have a celebration of the impending birth of my son.
She hosted and provided everything we needed for the party except for the cake.
The cake was my responsibility. And being me, it turned into a complete disaster.
I put in the order in advance to whole foods, which was an hour away from where I was living at the time. I *had* to have a Whole Foods vegan chocolate cake because I am a vegetarian and prefer not to eat eggs.
So they had the cake ready, and instead of schlepping my 8 months pregnant ass an hour to Whole Foods, I had my mom, who happened to be passing through the area, pick it up for me.
So I go to my mom’s house and discover that my cake is this:
…
I was not thrilled.
I was (and still am) a member of a Facebook group of mothers who were pregnant at the time and due in February. I decided to post a picture and ask for advice on what to do.
It turned into a 100+ comment thread filled with some advice, but mostly mass outrage at how anyone could have taken money for that cake.
Some memorable quotes:
“It looks like the person decorating it forgot how to spell “Boy” and did a bad job of correcting their error”
“My five year old could have done better than that”
“It’s like the guy decorating it was all ‘man…i hope my boss can’t smell the weed on me….mt. dew rocks…dude! I am kicking this cake’s ASS!'”
I felt validated. I was enraged and perhaps a little bit hormonal. I decided that backed by my army of pregnant women, I would make Whole Foods pay for their evil deeds.
I started by posting a picture and complaint to the Facebook page of the particular Whole Foods which inflicted the ugly cake upon the world. But almost as soon as it was posted, it was removed by an admin.
Upset and mad with imagined power of an army of pregnant women at my back, I created my own hate page for the cake. It got over 100 likes in an hour.
The next day was the baby shower. I decided I would play up the awkwardness instead of ignoring it. I took photos of people giving judgmental and horrified looks towards the ugly cake
She looks so disappointed.
To add insult to injury, the thing didn’t even taste good! It was dry and gross. Not at all up to par with the cakes I have had from Whole Foods in the past.
Afterwards, I called whole foods and personally confronted the (I’m guessing in some way intoxicated) person who decorated the cake. It was really good that this was not a face to face interaction or I probably would have imploded from awkwardness. But they gave me a refund.
So yeah. The lesson here is don’t get between a bunch of third trimester pregnant women and cake. It will not end well for you.
He was still angry about it, even a few days after he was born.
theawkwardmoose 