Then Suddenly, Adulthood!

Recently it dawned on me that I am an adult.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but here I stand with my own adult responsibilities and small human to care for. I feel so unprepared.

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I am much like Ted

Friends of mine have skills in domestic arts such as cooking and knitting and not looking like zombies when they go in public. I must have been out sick the days where they taught these things. The most impressive skill I posses is bow drilling (basically making fire from sticks) and that has yet to come in handy in my life as a full time mom. I also have a really good memory for lyrics. Again… Not very helpful.

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Basically I can do what this guy is doing, except while singing all of Don McLean’s “American Pie”

Right now we are working on decorating and furnishing our house. I am shocked and appalled that someone left this task to me, because I don’t even know what’s going on and then suddenly there is someone trying to sell me a coffee table and I can’t even tell you the difference in a “family room” and a “living room” yet I am expected to furnish both of these things without making a complete ass of myself.

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I think to myself, that surely someone must be mistaken here. Only real adults can decide if a loveseat or a chair and a half is appropriate. But there I am in a furniture mall wearing my baby and answering questions about square footage.

I feel like a kindergartener sitting the SAT.

But then… I never even actually took the SAT. So maybe I just feel like regular me taking the SAT. It’s best described as a comic book thought bubble with only the word “What.” Written inside.

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As a kid it seemed like adults just knew the answers to these things. They knew all the names for different chairs and which ones were appropriate for which rooms. It was just programmed into their adult brains it seemed. Maybe my parents neglected to teach me this life skill. Or maybe, just maybe, they were bullshitting their way through and hoping no one notices, just like I am now

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Moses doubts my qualifications as “adult”. He is onto me.

 

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8 Comments

July 18, 2013 · 4:27 am

8 responses to “Then Suddenly, Adulthood!

  1. Molly Chester

    Wat

  2. Love the post! I have felt the same way. I’m always impressed at how adults just know things and I wonder, well when am I going to magically start knowing things too? I recently wrote a post about hopefully waking up one day and suddenly knowing how to cook! They really should teach a Basics of Adulthood course.

  3. The BS runs rampant around here. I totally make it up as I go, and I have also totally lied to my children by informing them that they learn this crap at college in the “Mommy class” or the “Daddy class” and that’s why they have to go to college *before* they have kids. I’m starting to think they’ve figured out how stupid that sounds/is, however, and now I worry that my BS might come back to haunt me. First-time reader here – fun blog!

  4. I like this blog and I think others will too, so I’m nominating you for a Versatile Blogger Award! Go here to see the details! http://theaveragelifeofasecretmom.com/2013/07/30/i-got-that-lovin-feeling/

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