Monthly Archives: July 2013

Then Suddenly, Adulthood!

Recently it dawned on me that I am an adult.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but here I stand with my own adult responsibilities and small human to care for. I feel so unprepared.

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I am much like Ted

Friends of mine have skills in domestic arts such as cooking and knitting and not looking like zombies when they go in public. I must have been out sick the days where they taught these things. The most impressive skill I posses is bow drilling (basically making fire from sticks) and that has yet to come in handy in my life as a full time mom. I also have a really good memory for lyrics. Again… Not very helpful.

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Basically I can do what this guy is doing, except while singing all of Don McLean’s “American Pie”

Right now we are working on decorating and furnishing our house. I am shocked and appalled that someone left this task to me, because I don’t even know what’s going on and then suddenly there is someone trying to sell me a coffee table and I can’t even tell you the difference in a “family room” and a “living room” yet I am expected to furnish both of these things without making a complete ass of myself.

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I think to myself, that surely someone must be mistaken here. Only real adults can decide if a loveseat or a chair and a half is appropriate. But there I am in a furniture mall wearing my baby and answering questions about square footage.

I feel like a kindergartener sitting the SAT.

But then… I never even actually took the SAT. So maybe I just feel like regular me taking the SAT. It’s best described as a comic book thought bubble with only the word “What.” Written inside.

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As a kid it seemed like adults just knew the answers to these things. They knew all the names for different chairs and which ones were appropriate for which rooms. It was just programmed into their adult brains it seemed. Maybe my parents neglected to teach me this life skill. Or maybe, just maybe, they were bullshitting their way through and hoping no one notices, just like I am now

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Moses doubts my qualifications as “adult”. He is onto me.

 

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July 18, 2013 · 4:27 am

Wait…This exists?

There are some things that I know, that I never asked to know and sometimes wish I could un-know. But thanks to the internets, I know them. Bizarre information on the Internet is like a burning building you can’t look away from or a really trashy Facebook friend who you can’t bring yourself unfollow.

flames

Maybe people were genuinely more normal before the Internet and camera phones brought a venue for people to fly their freak flags and awkward people who hate leaving the house (Like meeeeeee) to sit back , pop popcorn, and watch the oddities.

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Or maybe people who really enjoyed placing a piece of bread around a cat and laughing about it have existed for centuries, if not millennia! Because really, do we know why the ancient Egyptians were so into cats?

anientkitty

I like cats too. Cat’s get me. I am glad there are so many on this cast web of (cat related) information.

So. Here are a few of my favorite WTF websites:

1. Cats that look like hitler

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

This one is a classic. Who doesn’t want to look over pictures of felines resembling one of the most evil human beings to ever live? Fun fact: my friend has a kitler.

2. Obsessive fan site for the hidden bathroom at disneyland.

http://www.secretrestroom.com/

The person/people who made this website are amazingly devoted to this bathroom. There are separate pages for things such as “vent”. Is this normal? Or healthy? Almost certainly not. But this… Is a thing.

3. OMG Cats in space!

http://omgcatsinspace.tumblr.com/

Exactly what it sounds like

4.How many goats are you worth?

http://www.howmanygoats.com/

In case you were wondering. Ya know… I have never once thought of trading someone in for goats before, but now that I know, I’m gonna have my husband take this test. Just for future reference…

So yeah. If you wanted to lose several minutes, if not hours thinking “wait… This exists?”, You should click on those links.

stunned Mose

Mosey doesn’t know what to think of these websites, which is good. It means he isn’t seeking to trade me in for goats.

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